Circumstances and situations seemed to lead me down a path that I did not originally intend nor desire at the time.
As a young teenager I was very active in school and had dreams of being a career woman. I graduated high school with honors. I married young and had my first child at the age of 17 years old, Lavinia, a beautiful baby girl. This would have deterred most but, not me. I had envisioned being a doctor since I was 8 and intended to do so no matter what. Life got in the way for a while but, at the age of 23 I enrolled into college. I completed two degrees within a four year time frame; a BS in Chemistry and Biology. From there it was on to Medical School at UT Memphis. I attended for three years when once again life got in the way. I had to drop out with full intentions of going back to complete my degree but, God had other plans for me. By this time I had given birth to a wonderful baby boy, Jamal, who was now 9 years old. Within two years of dropping out I had two more baby boys, Xavier and Marckell.
What followed, at the time seemed to be a disaster, but looking back I now know that it was all leading me to my destiny: My husband lost his business, we were divorced, I lost all material possessions , filed bankruptcy and had to move back home and live with my sister. The biggest blow was when I was diagnosed with kidney failure in 1999. I began dialysis and questioned, "Lord, why me?"
During all of this my trust in God was strengthened and my priorities were set straight. When the doctor told me I had CKD (chronic kidney disease) I didn't think about a career or things. My only thoughts were about my children. At that moment I realized what was really important in life . From that time till now I know that God gave me children as a Blessing to me. My desires started to change. I found myself wanting to pour all the love and knowledge I had acquired into my children. It was like my eyes were opened to see all the wonderful blessings that were around me.
When the time came to enroll my two youngest children into school, I had an unsettling feeling in the gut of my stomach. Within my spirit I knew God was calling me to homeschool my kids but, like Moses I gave God all kind of excuses why I was not qualified to do it and proceeded to reason with God why a single mother, who was the sole bread winner, could not take on a task such as this. I tossed and turned over the issue and could not find peace until I gave in to God and told him, "O.K. I don't know how I'm going to do this but I'll trust you to show me the way."
Ten years later, I can say that He has never let me down. It has not been a piece of cake but, God has met all of our needs. I have a much closer relationship with my children. I tell them all the time that I am learning as much as they are. God is teaching me as I teach them.
